1. Whenever a media outlet evaluates the Tide heading into the fall, the first three questions are always ‘how will the Tide replace Terrence Cody?’, ‘will the secondary be a weakness?’, and ‘what sort of liability will special teams be?’ After these three obvious questions, is there another area not being discussed that could be problematic this fall?

2. Every season since Coach Saban showed up on campus, at least two true freshman have distinguished themselves either as starters or as standout contributors on offense or defense. In 2007, it was Rolando McClain and Kareem Jackson, followed by Julio Jones and Donta Hightower in 2008, and last year it was Trent Richardson and (arguably) Nico Johnson. Who do you see being an immediate asset for the class of 2010?

3. We’re all hopeful that Alabama goes undefeated for the third consecutive regular season, but ‘unlikely’ doesn’t begin to describe the difficulty of that. If Alabama is going to lose at least one game, the question is not which is most likely, but which loss could you stomach the easiest?

4. Lots of people are pointing to the Georgia State game as the functional equivalent of a bye week. Agree or disagree?

5. We’ve been talking about hypothetical expansion for weeks now and the consensus is that the SEC will expand if it feels so compelled by the moves of other conferences. For a few days a specious rumor has been circulating on MSM sources that the Big Ten has extended invitations to Nebraska, Missouri, Notre Dame, and Rutgers (one version includes Syracuse). If this group of invites were true, would this be enough to cause the SEC to attempt expansion? Why or why not?

Ladies and Gents, Your SEC Voltron of the Week

Congratulations are in order for Bama Wide Reciever Julio Jones, for being named the SEC’s Voltron of the Week. Julio formaed out of 5 robotic Lions and Escalades to catch 5 passes for 66 yards and a touchdown against Western Kentuckly Hilltoppers while defending the Galaxy on Saturday. Julio was limited in action because his huge fucking sword is not allowed on the field.

Who The Fuck is Tulane:
Tulane University has over 10,000 motherfuckers that go to school there, many trying to become doctors and lawyers and such, but none of them are in fucking school this week because of a hurricane. Tulane is the only university in the US to start out as a public school, and then change to a private school, I guess the public said “fuck dude, you guys need to keep that shit private”.

Jerry Springer is a Tulane Graduate

Why we will Fuck them up:
The degenerate gamblers in Disney-Vegas have deemed us a 30 point favorite for this game, and we will have more talent on the field with our fucking backups in. Even if Bama showed up at the Georgia dome last week looking like drunk-ass high schoolers with inner ear infections Tulane would still be the underdog.

Why we are Fucked:
Last year Alabama lost to Louisiana Monroe and Miss. State, and we needed a last second interception in the fucking endzone to prevent Houston from taking a big dump* in my gameday chili. After the emotional high of a win like Clemson, with loads of media coverage, and a cursed SI Cover, lets hope we aren’t painting the Sistine Chapel on the Hindenburg while smoking cigarettes.

What to Fucking Look For:
Tulane had the 7th worst pass defense in the nation last year, allowing 288 yards a game, so we may see a highlight or two from Marquis Maze, Julio Jones and Jonathan Taylor Thomas Parker Wilson. It will also be interesting to watch the traffic clusterfuck that will happen Saturday, since Paul Bryant Drive still looks like Beirut.

Gameday Questions:
Off the football field there are several concerns about this year. Where the fuck will out-of-towners park? Where will Big Bad Wolves barbecue be, with a huge Houndstooth now dominating where they would set up?

*You know, with all that beef those dudes in Texas eat, a big texas turd would probably make my gameday chili taste better, maybe with some paprika

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach picked Alabama’s 2008 schedule as the 9th best in the country, only the second best in our fair state though, as the Troy Trojans one-upped us with their annual bloodletting that includes LSU, Ohio State and Oklahoma “I’m a man, I’m 40” State.

This is as good as it gets, endless promise, no losses, no mistakes. Let us drink the Crimson Koolaid all week until we pass out into sugar comas. Mainline it into my veins as these long rainy gray days have sapped my strength.

*WILL, JACK, SAM and MIKE? our linebacking positions sound like a boy-band lineup, whatever happend to good ole ILBS and OLBS. If these freshmen that can grasp whatever this JACK and WILL shit mean, they posses more mental acumen than most Valedictorians and I submit to you they may be able to calculate protein folding in their brains.