Several Alabama players will have their 69 Boyz ringtones at the ready during the NFL draft this Saturday, repeatedly cursing every unknown number they get a call from. The Tide’s 2008 draft class was legendary in all the wrong ways, with no names getting called and (unless I missed something) no 2008 guys even making it on rosters as free agents.

Andre Smith
4th OT (NFL Draft Countdown)
WalterFootball has him ranked as the 63rd player overall (!)
Mock Drafts: Don Banks 6th to Bengals, Todd McShay 7th to Raiders
In Case you forgot about Andre’s missteps, well they replayed all the shit during the A-day telecast, and they’ll replay it again at least 11 times on ESPN and the NFL network. I’m convinced its on a permanent loop at one ESPN engineer’s workstation. Before his bacon grease slathered screwups, Andre had a chance to be Alabama’s first number one overall draft pick since Harry Gilmer in 1948.

Rashad Johnson
3rd Safety (NFL Draft Countdown)
Rashad has had a storybook career, going from walk-on running back to defensive field general. Rashad is likely the number one safety for several teams, but they rarely pick safety’s in the first round, especially small ones.

Antoine Caldwell
5th Center (NFL Draft Countdown)
Caldwell is in the upper-middle of the pack in a year of solid centers, but I believe his attitude, intelligence and versatility give him an excellent shot at sticking with an NFL team.

Glen Coffee
12th RB (NFL Draft Countdown)
Either because of his family’s financial need, the rebuilding Tide offensive line, Pat Robertson’s 700 Club, or the highly anticipated Trent Richardson arrival, the time seemed right for Coffee to percolate into the NFL.

John Parker Wilson
15th QB (NFL Draft Countdown)
A solid Senior Bowl and combine may get him drafted on the second day. Likely you’ll hear the entire state of Alabama groan if he gets selected, but he’s not supposed to beat out Tom Brady or anything, he really has the qualities an NFL team would want for a third string QB.

Travis McCall
21st Tight End (NFL Draft Countdown)
McCall’s blocking puts him on the map at the same time he knocks other people off theirs. While he’ll probably end up a free agent, with the proliferation of the spread, he has the advantage of coming from a pro style offense and has been used often in the H back role.

Nick Walker
You hear surprisingly little about Alabama’s second leading receiver. The guy got into some great shape after the 2006 season to become an excellent receiving threat, and my crimson colored glass don’t remember him being a liability blocking. I’d love to see him on a team with an accurate QB like Peyton Manning or Drew Brees, but he’ll have to hope he gets picked up as an undrafted free agent.

We’ll start the competition right now. Please come up with a better headline than the one I just threw up there. I had one in the reserves, in case the game went the other way: Dick is big. No sacks. I also had: Dick disappoints without Nutt, Dick falls short, or Dick pointed and laughed at. Have fun.

The game seems like a beautiful dream to me now. I woke up with inexplicable bruises and a few less friends than I started with. Morning games are apparently just as, or more, dangerous as night games. The football gods were goodly enough schedule 3 SEC games back to back to back, and I refused to let them down with the mere mention of sobriety. When I drink that much, for that length of time, I become a different animal, operating on a higher plane than most. Punches and insults come surprisingly fast and frequent.  I remember watching highlights around last call at the plaza and having another dude vocally marvel at my drinking feats while I did my best air guitar to ELO.

During these heroics, I had to argue with a bama hater. The worst part was that he’s a bama fan, yet he still wanted to bitch about JP and the offense. I’m fucking disgusted. I can’t understand being upset about a running game that scores in the first set of downs. Sorry you didn’t get to see the JPW passing clinic, but hey, Glen “That’s Mr. Coffee to you.” Coffee just busted open an 85-yard can of biscuits, in case you want one. Bama had the ball for a grand total of 7 minutes and 45 seconds in the first half. The offense never had the chance to find any rhythm. By the time they actually did get on the field in the second half, we were up 35-7. The game changes when you have a lead like that, especially on the road.You play safe, mistake-free football. And last time I checked,  JP didn’t throw up any picks, despite staring down his receivers. In the end, I’ll take a 300+ yard running game, over a lights-out passing game any day.

How the fuck do you end up ranked 9th in the nation and undefeated, and not know what kind of team you have? Bama now has the problem of beating opponents so badly, that they are immediately dismissed as never-were’s. If we run over georgia next week, just wait for the “over-rated” cries to come from across the nation. Whatever. I’m enjoying this one for the day.