The University of Florida, National Milk Producers Federation, Naked Florist Association, The National Long Snapper Task Force, and General Mills Inc. are planning on milk-flooding Ben Hill Griffin Stadium Swamp for the Saturday showdown with number 2 ranked Alabama. The ‘Milkout’ is part of National Stadium-Milk Month and National Cleat Cheese Week. The end zones will [...]
Who the Fuck is Florida? The University of Florida is a fucking state college with about 55 fucking thousand students, located in Gainesville, Florida. Florida has given us gifts like the comedian Todd Barry and has also been known to occasionally aim its Taser of Education on goofball conspiracy theorists. Game of the Fucking Millennium! Welcome United States! [...]
Will Bammer beat the Gators? The most important divination yet is for the “Game of the Century” — Bammer vs Floriduh. Bammer returns to where the whole dream season started: Hotlanta. Will we be able to finish what we started there? Or, will the Gators chomp a mighty chunk of flesh from our hide? The Yi [...]
Who the Fuck is Florida Florida is a school of 52,000 motherfuckers located in Gainsville, Florida. The university is named after the state where old people go to die and Canadians go to drive bad. House guru Bob Vila is a Gator, he was the undisputed renovation sensei until that metrosexual Ty from Extreme Home [...]
Burt Reynolds movies are extremely accurate football predictors, with 100% winning predictions over 78% of the time. So we will unearth the truth by comparing arbitrary observations of Burt’s 1976 swamp noir epic Gator and his 1978 Tuscaloosa-filmed coming-of-old-age stuntman character piece, Hooper, and apply this to the upcoming bigger than earth SEC championship game. [...]
We all know that the Purple Swamp People want all the attention to be on THEM, and they want us to feel BAD about our carpetbagger scum bag coach who left poor ole billionaire Wayne Huizenga high and dry, and they are pissed their little kid named Nicholas is constantly scorned and booed to the [...]