Tower of Bammer » elephants

Hand Crafted Big Al From Zimbabwe

Alabama Man Dance — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:57:38 +0000

So I was perusing a few sites, looking for a hand crafted instrument made by indigenous peoples to outfit the Alabama Man Dance African Percussion Choir, and, lo and behold, i come across this: A Tin Elephant, check out this from the description “this elephant made of heavy sheets of tin is definitely red (so much so that he has been known to root for the Crimson Tide!)” So, c’mon people, if you’re looking for a gift for that special Bama Fan in your life you’ve wronged so many times, I can’t think of a better one, made by actual Zimbabwe Bammers.

In other news
If you are not following EDSBS’s Fulmer Cup, you should, since Alabama is the reigning champ thanks to last years robbery/coke slinging/bar-fight-a-palooza. We really hope the winner truly represents what it means for your team to go out and act like morons. That, and this quote from the most recent update almost made me spill my bat-blood voodoo cocktail all over my freemasonry pentagrams:

The Trilateral Commission decreed it, and then confirmed the call with the Elders of Zion, who then ratified the dismissal of affray charges against Janoris Jenkins with Quantum and the Gnomes of Zurich. Broadcasting the orders over special high-frequency radios through Chinese Triad contacts based in Mormon temples across the world, who then executed the orders through Mara Salvatrucha operatives with links to Opus Dei and the Carlyle Group to intimidate the judges in Alachua County to make the charges go away, debase the US Currency, and simultaneously undermine the University of Tennessee and Georgia programs while clearing the way for ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT. Either that, or there was no evidence to hold the charges any further against Jenkins.

"Roll" Tide Barn

Alabama Man Dance — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:25:33 +0000

To cheer you up from your Kentucky blues, here is the coolest barn I’ve ever seen, quite possibly the Sistine Chapel of bammer, it was somewhere down Highway 11 I think, I was kind of fuckin lost. It is scarred by a few unnecessary quotation marks, but that can be forgiven, since quotation marks can add a rustic charm when hand-painted on a big red barn.

The scene:
A literate elephant following the sign to Tide Country (an illiterate elephant would just eat the fucking sign). Along the way, it appears he stomps a tiger into the dirt. This could be an Auburn Tiger (aka booger eater) or it could merely be a re-enactment of a scene in the wild, since elephant and tiger habitats overlap in some areas of Southeast Asia. Needless to say, no literate elephant is EVER going to let some shit-eating little pussycat stop him from getting to Tide Country, especially if he’s walking there all the way from fucking Southeast Asia.

the Bama dude then arrives on the scene, decked out in his Saturday finest, quite possibly an overweight Joe Namath. He witnesses the tiger-stomping on the way back from Tide Country and looks to be pretty shitfaced, you can tell by the way his football is wobblin like a wounded baby. The crimson clad gentleman is obviously impressed, so he join’s the elephant on his quest for Tide Country and they have an adventure and see some 1970s style whoopass, eat some peanuts, and drink a beer or 20.

Someone out there probably has more information on this, but I’m not sure I even want to know it. I have this awesome image in my head of a rail-thin white-haired bammer, who triumphantly construct this vibrant barn mural despite his overbearing country wife’s inability to derive pleasure from anything but other people’s pain and misery.