Crazy signing announcements are all the rage, giving the ESPNU guys something to blather about for hours, crashing local news’ crappy online video players, and giving curmudgeons everywhere an opportunity to shit all over everything. Monday, this year’s top recruit Jadaveon Clowney will presumably choose between South Carolina and Clemson. We can now wonder what [...]
Monty: My old bastard owner used to beat the shit out of me while listening to Kenny Rogers, so pardon me if I don’t believe a word the man says. In Cam We Trust. Romeo: It’s bout to get chilly, kind of bummed but glad I don’t got no nuts to freeze off. Mocha: Check [...]
Pins: “I got your unsportsmanlike conduct right heaaaaah!” Romeo: “Georgia makes me wish I was a cat.” Mocha: “Blew out my ACL running away from that turkey inseminating Vandy coach. Time to go chill w/ Dr. James Andrews, he always gives me Bo Jackson shaped pepperoni while i get my knee scoped.” Foxy: “If the [...]
Buster: “First order of business for Alabama: quit letting Helen Keller call the plays in the red zone!” Missy: “Those guys really like purple nylon.” Barney: “Jesus! Its gonna take me MONTHS to re-pee on all the things the tiger fans pee on this weekend” Bear: “Do LSU fans name their dogs Gerry DiNardo?” Sarah: [...]
William: “Lock of the week. Take the over. Crompton will throw for 4 touchdowns! But, then again, you should never take betting advice from a dog wearing a pink bandana.” Speedy: “Think that Mike Vick stuff was bad? Crazy swamp bumpus Ed Orgeron makes soup out of dogs, I can smell it when he sweats.” [...]
The Tower of Bammer interviewed several Tuscaloosa dogs this past week, to seek their opinion on the Bama vs Volunteer showdown in Knoxvegas this weekend: Waldo: “Did they cut off Smokey’s balls too???” Chester: “What in the hell is Saban telling these kids at halftime? Is he reading them the week’s Dow Jones index?” Beau: [...]
I interviewed several Tuscaloosa dogs this past week, to see their opinion on the Bama vs Bulldog showdown in Athens this weekend: Waldo: “Do those Bulldogs like to roll around in shit too???” Otis: “I hope Corso doesn’t pick us to win!” Freckles: “I’m very concerned about our linebackers in pass coverage!” Beau: “The Big [...]