So at first I thought these hijackers was some Canadians who’d been rolling around in the dirt, but then I saw the mud covered Ford F-150 with customized Montgomery county Mississippi plates that said “CLUNKCLUNKCLUNKCLUNK” and I immediately recognized it as a dangerous Mississippi Mud-person cypher of some sort, these toe-fingered bastards were far from home, reverting into some sort of survival instinct. They left without incident, but the old lady’s portable massage device lay still and dark and still for many years.

So yeah, to hell with them cowbell swinging dick lickers! I’m half a mind to drive down to that little hamlet of Starkville, eat a mess of boiled asparagus, and unload a few quarts of weird stinky piss all over the place.