Bama Hoops has excellent coverage of the Tide b-ball team, as this season painfully progresses into SEC play this Sunday vs the Bouncing Swamp Tigers at the Coleman Emptysium. The student harassment of LSU coach John Brady was always a highlight of the SEC season, you, sir, will be missed. Hopefully the atmosphere won’t be so bad that any football recruits visiting will not be scared away by the apathy.

Aubarnie: Self styled as “Your premium source for the latest and greatest news breaking from the greatest little trailer park on the plains: Opelika!”, my peanut-sized Alabammer brain can barely comprehend this page, but I recommend checking it out for all the weird shit and Finebaum caller dioramas.

Also, speaking of Auburn, this lizard eating video on deadspin is pretty gross, and it also starts the countdown to some fine Bammer specimen getting all youtubed up doing something dumb. Leave your Tide Gear at home before doing taping yourself doing something fucking retarded, my Alabama brothers and sisters.

Former Bama fullback Le’Ron McClain was on the Roundtable this morning, saying ‘man’ a lot, but thats cool, I do too. This dude suprised everyone this year, looking like the second coming of Jerome Bettis for the Baltimore Ravens. I think he surpassed his entire Alabama rushing yardage total in something like 2 games and has been a 3rd down beast.

Recruiting is getting insane, this weekend Tuscaloosa will be crawling with a veritable cornucopia of future football stars. We’ll have some Tower of Bammer style recruiting coverage coming soon.

This first kid is great. He took issue with Saban icing his kicker before halftime…

“So you guys love him huh?  What an A** for calling a time out like that.  He knows and you do too that Auburn can’t hurt you…so he goes after a young kid who was kicking his first field goal.  Shame shame shame on him…. and you for loving him so much.”

…and was immediately ridiculed.

“shame on you for being a pussy…auburn and tuberville can burn in hell and we will beat them in the ground until we feel necessary to stop”

“You must be this kid’s 40 year old mother? right? i hope so, otherwise you really sound like a bitch”

Other fans were pissed that Bama “ran up” the score in the 4th quarter. At least this guy was realistic.

Their SECOND string QB & WR did two things our offence can not do. One is throw the ball and second to catch it. Make that three…their DB Probably could have defended the play!!!

Calls for Tuberville’s resignation appear to have plateaued. But it’s only Sunday. We can probably expect more of this:

You can tell by the way Tuberville coaches that he knows he has Auburn right where he wants them. Looks like revenge for the 2003 debacle. We should have canned his butt then. Where is Bobby Lowder??

Short of hiring a qualified OC, this barner has one recommendation for the off-season:

boycott “little” Debbies

My favorite post-game analysis here. You have to give this guy some credit:

On a positive note, if you take away all regulation play… we won 3-0.

This has just started making it rounds on a lot of bama (and LSU) sites. ChopblockU maintains its rep.

Fucking Alabama
Its that time of the year folks, when we square up against our little sister for bragging rights within the beautiful, ignorant wasteland that is Sweet Home Alabama. Its been so long since I’ve had bragging rights, I don’t remember what they look like. Phil Fulmer has probably peeked over his portable indian mound and glanced at his flaccid pink gobbler more recently than us bammers have had proper statewide shit-talking rights.

Why We’re Fucked
We’ve lost 6 in a row and have yet to get a “W” in a Tuscaloosa Iron Bowl. Auburn’s defense is good enough to keep the game just one Coffee-fumble, Parker-pick, or Arenas-Muff away from an upset. The Tigers have looked very good in the first half of most of their games, you’d think if they were going to put together a complete game, it would be against the hated Crimson Tide. Let’s not play this up too much, though. Every game since the 3-2 Miss State turd fest has been a must-win for the barn, and their performance in pressure enviorments has been as impressive as the bulge in Verne Troy’s pants.

Why They are Fucked
The homer-est of the bitter piss-filled, endangered species eagle-hunting, Pat Dye-stalking Alabama homers couldn’t have scripted a worse season for the Tigers. With a QB disaster, second half collapses, an incoherent offense, the Franklin debacle, and Tuberville rumors, Auburn is primed for only more embarrassment by way of a Bama beatdown and no bowl eligibility. The 2:30 kick-off is the perfect time for what will be a bourbon-fueled, raucous home crowd. Any earlier and the mass hangover would be a factor; any later and the owners of empty seats would be found drunkenly splayed out under Denny Chimes, wondering when the Jumbo Tron would be rolled onto the quad.

Tailgating Before the Game
There have been some special burgers prepared in T-town for barners coming in for the game that I whole heartedly recommend our fans to check out, you can take a look at this unique sandwich here.

Happy Fucking Thanksgiving From Tower of Bammer
Thank you for reading tower of bammer my brothers and sisters, now go kick grandma in the nuts for us.

“Please Coach Tuberville, you still have a chance to to take advantage of our great defense and have a great season, but you must come to your senses and change our vapid offensive to a more traditional Auburn offense. Tell Tony, we tried it but it doesn’t work and we aren’t going to throw away our season to prove a point that already has been proven.”

“This offensive system will not work in the SEC”

“FIRE TONY FRANKLIN!!! He promised but can not fulfil his promises.”

“the Tony Franklin offense that we thought was going to be explosive and unstoppable has done little more than set Auburn’s program back tremendously. Not only is the season in jeopardy, but all of the recruits that have committed will never want to come and play for such a Mickey Mouse high school offense.”

“Franklin has got to go……and he should take Todd with him!”

“Tony Franklin needs to brush his hair and get the hell out of town, or get the hell out of town and then brush his hair. Either order is fine.”

“Franklin’s Chinese Firedrill Offense should be scrapped, not just “tweaked”. I have never seen a more inept AU offense.”

“This situation just went from serious to critical. If Tommy doesn’t swallow some pride and back up completely on this Chris Todd decision, then this team could very well flame like the Hindenburg.”

“Fire Tubberville and Franklin. Make Rhodes the head coach. If anyone has a problem with my post, I will be easy to find. I will probably be the only Auburn fan with a paper bag over my head in section 34 during the LSU game.”

“We are opening up the playbook people. It is not working. You all are starting to sound like bama fans, making excuses for everything. We are not a top ten team, or even a top 20 team right now. Changes need to be made now, because the time we need to make them runs out this Saturday.”

“If Auburn doesnt straighten out we will soon be battling MSU to stay out of the cellar in the west. This is a nightmare.”

“If I hear a win is a win quote again from Tubbs I am going to vomit on my Pat Dye commemerative plate”

“You call youself Auburn fans – Some of you people make sick.”

That last one’s great. They’re turning on each other now. Of course, this all means nothing. Auburn is 3-0 and has thier first SEC win. The defense is fucking stout and I don’t think they’ll have to score many points to win, anyway. Apparently the 3-2 game was embarrassing enough for AP voters to jump Alabama ahead of them this week.