Already taken off work for National Signing Day, ready to spend a day with my family, curled up next to the fire, huffing VCR cleaner, and watching athletic young high school men put on hats. If you squint your ears and listen hard, you can even here High School Audio Visual departments from around the nation creaking under the pressure of these hat choosings.

Might even buy a shitload of Guthries chicken finger boxes. I’ll eat the chicken fingers, use the crinkle cut fries to clean up the oilspill that’s slowly taking over my garage, and then I’ll take a nap in a pile of Texas toast and dream of 5-stars flipping from USC to Team Edward.

That’s why this National Signing Day Bamboo Salad Bowl set is so fucking sweet…

It comes with a fax machine, Guthrie’s chicken fingers and a wad of cash. The fax machine actually just hooks up to an ESPNU feed that purrs like a real fax machine, so you can pretend that you are actually in an athletic department, and you can even pretend that you don’t have a boner every time the thing starts to warm up.

I also can’t wait to have some company over and show them these rustic hand crafted salad bowls. Might even buy some of that Annies organic salad dressing I always see at the grocery store, they even have one made with bukkake mushrooms. OK, who am I kidding, as a true Alabama fan, my family has been running Wishbone salad dressing since 1970, typically the Thousand Island option.

Whats your favorite peice of Signing Day swag? Will Bobby Flay have a National Signing Day throwdown?

Current Mood: Excited (^_^)

Current Music: Keith Sweat