Arkansas Coach Quits Job, Wears Davey Crockett Jacket, Criticizes Ex-Boss

(Ex-) Arkansas Coach Bobby Petrino, clad in a sweet looking Davey Crockett jacket and a long Wyatt Earp style grits-grabber mustache, quit his job as Arkansas Razorback head coach in legendary fashion Tuesday night, in front of a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant.

Petrino delivered a teary, emotional, profanity-laden speech in front of a Buffalo Wild Wings while an assistant revved up his new custom chopper. He started out with choice words for the Athletic Director’s sexual orientation, the Athletic Director’s preferred sexual positioning, the Athletic Director’s pug-like face, the Athletic Director’s ‘Greasy Granny’, and even called into account the structural integrity of  aforementioned grandparent’s undergarments.

He then lashed out at the local media, Fayetteville hair-cutting establishments, his neighborhood’s trash pick up days, and even the local sports bar trivia scene:

“These joker’s around here think Delta Burke was in Golden Girls, I need to move to a place that takes their bar trivia more seriously” – Former Arkansas Coach Bobby Petrino

Petrino then hopped on his chopper, tossed a wadded handful of hundred dollar bills into the air, and sped off in a trail of smoke.

Happy trails, Bob, we’ll never forget your entrance to last year’s SEC Media Days.

Leave a Reply

Anti-Spam Protection by WP-SpamFree