After months of threats, Yahoo Sports finally ‘did it’ and dropped tons of exploding ordinance on Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana. Most experts thought Yahoo was going to do a huge expose about the scandalous practice of people giving other people money and good car deals, but nope, they dropped actual weapons from the sky and blew up a ton of shit.
At approximately 7AM CST, 25 Yahoo warplanes took off from 3 different Yahoo bases and exploded Baton Rouge, Starkville, Tuscaloosa, and the cute little village of Oxford, leaving people without homes, TVs, Xboxes and barbeque.
Morgan Freeman denounced the attack, along with most of the SEC West leaders that were not exploded by the surprise attack, and has vowed to use his god-like powers and silky smooth voice to pound Yahoo Sports into submission and then toss their dismembered unrecognizable body parts into catfish ponds across the Southeast.
Why would Yahoo do this you ask? Well there are several factors:
I urge you all to be vigilant, channel your inner Swayze, and to not name your rag tag group of guerrillas something lame like “Wolverines”, be creative, because you’ll be carving and spray painting this on those Yahoo suckers for months if not years.