The University of Florida, National Milk Producers Federation, Naked Florist Association, The National Long Snapper Task Force, and General Mills Inc. are planning on milk-flooding Ben Hill Griffin Stadium Swamp for the Saturday showdown with number 2 ranked Alabama. The ‘Milkout’ is part of National Stadium-Milk Month and National Cleat Cheese Week. The end zones will be filled with large Cheerios, and a field crew specially trained in cereal care will make sure they don’t get too soggy or float into the field of play.
Reactions have been mixed, with some players tweeting about h8ing milk, others posting sexually offensive tweetpics, but many remain positive and plan to hide Lucky Charms in their helmet. Offensive Coordinator Charlie Weis loves they idea saying:
“I beleive we will have a decided skimatic advantage this Saturday”
Alabama Coach Nick Saban is concerned, since Milk is not part of his Process: “I don’t like these changes, but I will have our secondairy prepared”
SEC officials are crying into their bowls of delicious General Mills cereal this morning, wondering how to work out rule changes to adapt to the lactose-filled environs. The officials and their service dogs are also enjoying a refreshing start to the day with a healthy bowl of cereal w/ fruits and strawberries floating around in it.
One of the ideas being literally floated around are the endzone pylons. Floating end zone pylons will not move the official touchdown area, but splashing down on them will get you a 15 gallon unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Additionally, the CBS announcement crew Gary Danielson and Jules Verne will be instructed NOT to refer to the pylons as floaters.
Also, the game’s halftime show will feature a short message about lactose intolerance from a milk based celebrity.