In the 4th quarter of an ugly blowout, Michigan State backup QB Keith Nichol connected with receiver Bennie Fowler to finally get the Spartans on the board in the blowout on New Years Day… but should the Sparty TD have counted?? Should Michigan State suffer NCAA repercussions for using bracelets that give you superpowers??
Was wizardry involved in the lone Michigan State touchdown??
We have uncovered exclusive evidence that the Spartan QB was using Holographic Power-Magnet Technology™ that gives you more agility and speed and ions! Think of the brutal New Years Day massacre that would have taken place had the Spartans not tapped into the dark arts of their +1 agility bracelets! Think of all the fertile Michigan vjays that have been inseminated by magnetically enhanced sperms.
Why has the NCAA not weighed in on these devious mechanisms? Using these bracelets athletes can increase flexibility by 18% and balance by 78% and decrease the size of their bank account by $15 to $100, but what if you strapped a bigger Ion Amplification Deoxidizer™ magnet on top of that magnet? What if you ate a bag of holograms? Would your intestines have better balance? What if you wear them on your feet as well?? We stand at the precipice of a magnetic arms race America!
I can only hope there is a ruling soon:
The plot thickens! There also are University of Alabama branded agility braceleez!!
So Alabama sues Daniel Moore, all the while selling branded hologram sorcery? Unacceptable! What’s next? Car mileage efficiency kits?
A little disturbed that Auburn has one too, we’ll see who can up the ante next year, expect to see Merlins and Pokemons and shit being summoned forth in next year’s Iron Bowl, culminating in the reanimated corpse of Shug Jerdon reigning havoc along the outskirts of Opelika.
(from @bohicks, in case you dont know what these bracelets are http://gizmodo.com/5723577/powerbalance-admits-their-wristbands-are-a-scam)