Archive for July, 2011

Hey Ladies

Saturday, July 30th, 2011

Hey Ladies I saw you lookin my way, as I was on my riding lawnmower. You’re right, I could pay someone to do that. But thats just not how I operate. Wel, I do pay someone to trim the hedges and clear out the azaleas every year or so, but I do the mowing, thats […]

Is BLAZIN’ BUFFALO & RANCH responsible for BCS title success??

Friday, July 29th, 2011

Evidence Suggests that Doritos Blazin’ Buffalo & Ranch is responsible for the SEC’s BCS Championship Streak, Is the Party Over now that I’m Spillin the Bean Dip??? In 2006 fine food maker Frito-Lay launched Doritos Blazin’ Buffalo & Ranch, re-invigorating their brand and melting taste-buds across North America and Europe. Since Blazin’ Buffalo & Ranch was christened with […]

Clay Travis Breaks News About ‘Teapot Dome Scandal’

Monday, July 25th, 2011

Sports blogspot Clay Travis has unearthed new information about a rumored ‘Teapot Dome Scandal’, there are concerns that this could affect Calvin Coolidge’s eligibility. Apparently some rich fat-cats took us for a bunch of dumb daddy-o’s but they got pinched. It is possible that the League of Nations could put the U.S. on probation. News even […]

Optimus Prime attempts to Murder former UA running back

Saturday, July 23rd, 2011

Optimus Prime, a large violent shapeshifting robot, attempted to run former UA running back and Mark Ingram of the side of a Huntsville highway. Shia Le Boof has not yet commented, but I’m sure his comments would be just a bunch of screaming and goofy running. Optimus used to seem so cool, being the leader […]

Arkansas Coach Arrives at SEC Media Days in Giant Buble!!

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

Holy crap, Just saw Bobby Petrino arrive at SEC Media Days!!!! A wild looking helicopter gently lowered him down in a giant bubble while throngs of football starved and majorly dehydrated fans helped him get to the Wynfry hotel on a beautiful Hoover morning! They all had their arms outstretched and their fingers were like […]

Yahoo Sports Drops Actual Bomb on SEC West

Friday, July 15th, 2011

After months of threats, Yahoo Sports finally ‘did it’ and dropped tons of exploding ordinance on Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana. Most experts thought Yahoo was going to do a huge expose about the scandalous practice of people giving other people money and good car deals, but nope, they dropped actual weapons from the sky and […]

Bama Running Back on Dork Walker Watchlist

Friday, July 15th, 2011

Alabama Running Back Trent Richardson has been named to the Dork Walker watchlist, honoring the dorkiest running back in the NCAA. Trent was on hand at the Harry Potter premier dressed up like a wizard when he heard about the award. “I’m super psyched about this!” said Richardson “Can’t wait to tell my Warcraft guild!” […]

Tailgate Menu: Watermelon Margarita w/ Barbeque Rib

Thursday, July 14th, 2011

big piece of watermelon solid pour of Tequila squeeze some lime juice till your hands are a soury unbearable smelling mess some sweet domino sugar (to taste) tiny lil houndstooth umbrella 1 rib that’s been cooked for 18 – 26 hrs, preferably with a dry rub and some awesome bbq sauce Remove rind from watermelon […]

Sports-themed Paul Blart Movies in the Works!

Friday, July 8th, 2011

Thanks to the critical and financial success of the Paul Blart movies, Sony is spinning the lovable Kevin James character into a more sportsy direction, in an attempt to reach out to the Bud Light / Michelob Ultra crowd. SPOILERS FOLLOWING FOR PAUL BLART: LONG SNAPPER . . . YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED – MAJOR […]

Ohio State Penalizes Itself For Playing Illegible Players

Friday, July 8th, 2011

Ohio State has self imposed penalties after admitted they played illegible players during most of 2010. Tower of Bammer has obtained the questionable chicken scratch roster and reproduced it for you here via the magic of the Internet. The Roster looked like it had been sat on, used as a coaster, and parts of it […]