While groups like Tide for Toomers have raised a veritable shitload of money, the root cause of the recent tree-violence have gone untouched… finebaum callers. Toxic finebaum callers pose a unique but real threat to the health, minds, hearts, education, trees, car tires, pets, newspaper message boards, and domesticated animals of Alabama. Luckily, groups like [...]

One of Satan’s dehorned uneducated jowly children, Harvey Updyke, has been arrested for poisoning Auburns big ole tree. “I was gifted with too much hate by my fiery hell-demon of a father. So I squirted some of that hate into them trees, they gonna die” Updyke has lived a lonely life, passing the time by calling radio [...]

BREAKING NEWS: Bear Bryant found Alive, chillin w/ actual bear Former Alabama and Kentucky football coach, and also carnivorous giant-wildlife afficianado, Paul Bryant, was discovered to be alive, working in an unnamed zoo, chilling out with a big huge fucking bear. He apparently tucks the bear in and reads him bed time stories for 4 [...]

Crazy signing announcements are all the rage, giving the ESPNU guys something to blather about for hours, crashing local news’ crappy online video players, and giving curmudgeons everywhere an opportunity to shit all over everything. Monday, this year’s top recruit Jadaveon Clowney will presumably choose between South Carolina and Clemson. We can now wonder what [...]