The Tower is hosting the Crimson and White Roundtable this week, so prepare your various cavities for our probing questions and illuminating answers.

1. While the actual players and coaches deserve some of the credit for last season’s success, it was our collective superstitions and dark rituals that brought home the championship. What was your superstitious contribution?

TJ: I start off the day with a “Gameday Strength” Jack and Coke thanks to Bo at Egan’s.  To make it, he pours the bourbon over ice, then he pops a can of soda next to it. Whatever fizz leaps from the can to the glass is about all that he puts in it. I also slit a  squirrel open in the alley behind the bar.

Alabama ManDance: On gamedays I always make a lucky trip to the Stein Mart, get a pastel colored duvet cover or whatever looks really ‘fall’. Then I fill it full of leaves, sticks, pine needles, pizza hut coupons, hair spray cans, okra, human hair, etc, and I set it on fire near the stadium and haul ass away. And I have a lucky shaker.

2. Put on your Finebaum hat, dip your arrows in vile poison, and tell us which SEC coach is gonna be the first to get canned/and or bolt for greener pastures… like golf courses.

TJ: Richt is the obvious choice here, BUT I think that unless one of Les Miles’ multiple personalities is a football coach, the mud people of LSU are finally going to realize that they hired a functional retard and correct their mistake.

Alabama ManDance: I think Steve Spurrier hangs it up before halloween. If Urban Meyer has heart problems, then the Ole Ball Coach is 7 Stephen Garcia interceptions away from a complete endocrine system shutdown and full time residency at some Hilton Head waterfront property.

3. We would love for this to go on forever, but let’s face it, we have to lose a game at some point, right? What team on next years schedule (pronounced shed-jewel) should cause the most concern?

TJ: Looking at said schedule, it’s tough to really nail this down. The toughest opponent will be the Gators. They’ve now got the same motivation that we had last season, but Urban has gone looney tunes, so fuck’em. I think we have to look out for the trap game and I think that may come in Fayetteville. Petrino’s 3rd season, Mallett’s 2nd. I think they’re going to upset somebody this year and it could very well be us.

Alabama ManDance: Despite their attrition it’s hard to believe that Florida won’t be the more complete team, they’ve been stockpiling talent and are not afraid to adapt to that talent. The Petrino-Mallet pool party they are throwing next year at Arkansas looks to seriously challenge the SEC defenses, but the hogs also came in dead last in the SEC in total defense, so I’m going to go with Florida.

4. Joe Paterno has already screeched “You can’t count on freshmen. Do you want to go down to Tuscaloosa with freshmen!?” but Penn State fans are buzzing about how true frosh Paul Jones looked in their spring game. Is JoePa playing it smart, clinging to an outdated case of freshmanastartaphobia, or just planning on starting a sacrificial lamb QB so Marcel Dareus doesn’t eat his good ones?

TJ: I think that The Goggled One is correct here. Bryant-Denny is going to be a fucking madhouse for that game, especially with the new expansion. We’re gonna look like some god-damned crazed horde of bloodthirsty Romans. Putting in a wide-eyed freshman QB is tantamount to handing the ball over to Dante Hightower at the start of every Nittany Lion possession.

Alabama ManDance: Much like a plastic dinosaur, an 18 year-old starting QB is a tough thing to digest, that said, this old-school complete aversion to freshmen is weird. If Nick Saban were to take that stance, 2008 would’ve been a LOT shittier. I know a QB is a different manimal, but if a guy is truly the best at his position, aren’t you just handicapping yourself? Coaches see more than fans, so I tend to trust that the best players are on the field, but helmets aren’t leather and you’re not running the wing-t anymore so let em play if they are good enough.

5. Everyone I know has a crazy story about dealing with an out of control swamp-thing rival from Red Stick, whats the craziest thing you’ve ever seen an LSU fan do? (Just to make things interesting, lets disqualify Shaquille O’Neal’s performance as a genie in Shazam)

TJ: This was last year, and it’s probably not the craziest thing, but it’s the one that freshest in my mind. The night before the LSU game there were a bunch of banners up on the 2nd floor of some gameday condos. One of them said, “LES MILES IS A HOMEAUX.”  Pretty fucking hilarious. So, the next morning I walk by again and the offending banner had obviously be ripped down. I asked the occupants what the hell happened. They said gang of corndoggers ran by, jumped up and tore it down. Here’s what’s crazy about that. This thing was like 12 feet off the fucking ground. Apparently their drunken rage can give them superhuman abilities. I’ve always been told to never fuck with drunken LSU fans and this only confirmed the fact that I never will.

Alabama ManDance: Back on a gameday when LSU kind of sucked, I saw this rowdy rich bayou banker buy HUNDREDS of shots at Buffalo Phil’s. He just went around pointing to people, Bama fans too, telling them to take a shot. The bartenders were working in teams, practically forming an assembly line. They might have even hired some temporary migrant workers to form a bucket brigade of liquor bottles. After multiple attempts he eventually climbed onto the bar, tried to grab one of their paper mache Jose Cuervo decorations hanging from the ceiling and was politely asked to close his tab and leave.