Archive for September, 2010

I Came to Drop F-Bombs on the Gainesville Lizard Dancers

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

FUCKING YOGURT IN THA HOUSE!!! So here we are, with a just-opened under-stadium science bunker where Alabama can invent new types of performance enhancing yogurt. This week we will come up with some special yogurt we can drop on all those arm-flapping jort-stealing taser-toting panhandlers, mayhaps with some multicolored sprinklies, chocolate flakies, and genetically engineered […]

Crimson White Roundtable: Gator Bait Edition

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

TJ brings us this weeks Crimson & White Roundtable: 1) What is the biggest lesson we learned in the win over Arkansas last Saturday? Thank God for halftime adjustments! I don’t know what we would’ve done if there weren’t a break in the sixty minutes of regulation play. It’s not like every single coordinator is […]

Breaking News: Blazer Back is a Fetus!

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Was watching UAB play the Villainteers last weekend, and I’ll be danged up in down the street if I didnt think running back Pat Shed had one of the baddest ass names on the block. As in shedding blocks and he ran up and down the sidelines! I figured I would google him, and shit […]

What do real dogs think of the SEC this year?

Friday, September 24th, 2010

Pins: “I got your unsportsmanlike conduct right heaaaaah!” Romeo: “Georgia makes me wish I was a cat.” Mocha: “Blew out my ACL running away from that turkey inseminating Vandy coach. Time to go chill w/ Dr. James Andrews, he always gives me Bo Jackson shaped pepperoni while i get my knee scoped.” Foxy: “If the […]

I came to drop F-Bombs on the Fightin’ Arkamallets

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

The Year of the Fuckin Razorback! This weekend Alabama faces the hawwwgs, preseason darlings of the hype-o-sphere. Arkansas possessess an explosive offensive attack, jolly giant of a QB Ryan Mallet and mad scientist of a coach Bobby Petrino, a veritable alchemist of offensive concoctions, screen bubbles, slanty routes, wolf patterns, zipper flys, curly Q’s, and […]

Green Bama Shirt??? Is Green the New Crimson??

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

Was researching about whatever shit I should talk about Arkansas, and noticed that Addidas has just released a green bama shirt. Why would anyone be releasing a green Bama shirt?!? Is this a leaked document about future plans?? You might need to burn all your Crimson gear and get ready to go green, start getting […]

I Came to Drop F Bombs on the Duke Bluelzebubbas

Friday, September 17th, 2010

Who the Fuck is Duke? Duke University is named after a large slave ship (The Dangling Duke) that sailed into the ominous Research Triangle never to be seen from again. Doesn’t Research Triangle sound like a Ménage à trois of scientists??  They chose the Blue Devil as their mascot because White Devil was already taken, […]

Crimson and White Roundtable: Duke Editions

Thursday, September 16th, 2010

Here are my answers for this week’s C & W Roundtable. Tide is going to the Dookeys! 1. What is the most important thing we learned in the wake of the Penn State game? I’ve been skeptical that Alabama was gonna be an offensive team, but, damn, Linebacker U could not tackle the Tide’s backup […]

Meet your RB Duo: Spaghetti and Meatballs!!

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Introducing Spaghetti and Meatballs! Had to make something up before someone calls the Bama dudes Fire and Rain and I gotta listen to James Taylor for the next year!

Conspiracy Alert: Duke Coach Spotted w/ Bessemer Politician at Big Boi Concert

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

Conspiracy Alert!!! Duke Coach David Cutcliffe and an unkonwn Bessemer politician were photographed at a Big Boi concert in Raleigh or Durham or somewhere like that. The raises Mal Moore sized eyebrows because the Bessemer politician is known friends/golf-buds with Alabama Head Coach Nick Saban. This could be a competitive-espionage/sabotage-type mission, seeking info on DJ […]