The past 10 years have only seen 3 Iron Bowl victories for the Tide. This has resulted in far too much toilet paper being squandered by agricultural tree vandals. Much like religious fanatics who discard their possessions and wait in the desert for their savior to return on a specific date, only to end up disappointed or even more delusional, Auburn fans cover their cute little town shrub with yards and yards of exit napkins, hoping some year the Football Gods will pay a visit and wipe their Football God Asses. I’m fairly certain that much toilet paper could completely disable the entire Lee County aqueduct-style ninja turtle infested sewage system, turning it into a stagnant underground doodoo-flavored lazy river. I hope Alabama wins the Iron Bowl this year,as a symbolic win in the name of public sanitation, and in the name of anyone that has ever suddenly run out of toilet paper.