It was disappointing to learn Heisman Winner Mark Ingram wasn’t going to be on the Dave Letterman show last night, I hear he was going to wear his light blue Matlock digs.

from 2008:

Who the Fuck is Florida?
The University of Florida is a fucking state college with about 55 fucking thousand students, located in Gainesville, Florida. Florida has given us gifts like the comedian Todd Barry and has also been known to occasionally aim its Taser of Education on goofball conspiracy theorists.

Game of the Fucking Millennium!
Welcome United States! Ola Estados [...]

Some sumbitches like to motivate with violence, but now in this day and age where you can barely get away with half-drowning heathen terrorists, so you’re surely not gonna get away with stapling “my whore momma dropped me” signs on the wide receivers every time one of those butterfingers lets the ball hit the dirt. [...]

…officers found the Gator defensive lineman’s car stopped at a green light slumped over asleep in the driver’s seat