Julio Jones, future NFL MVP and amateur helicopter pilot, has been named a starter! and may even, as a kick returner, be the First Alabama Motherfucker to actually touch the ball in 2008 (though I would prefer him touch it via inappropriately fondling Javeir Arenas after a long, shifty, videogamelike return). Our cadre of wideouts is deep and full of promise, much like my last root canal, but freshman Linebacker Donta Hightower and our completely revamped linebackers* really could be the most interesting story, having to go up against Clemson RBs CJ Spiller and James Davis in a matchup that may ultimately determine whether I stick a spoon in my eye Saturday night.
ESPN’s Mark Schlabach picked Alabama’s 2008 schedule as the 9th best in the country, only the second best in our fair state though, as the Troy Trojans one-upped us with their annual bloodletting that includes LSU, Ohio State and Oklahoma “I’m a man, I’m 40” State.
This is as good as it gets, endless promise, no losses, no mistakes. Let us drink the Crimson Koolaid all week until we pass out into sugar comas. Mainline it into my veins as these long rainy gray days have sapped my strength.
*WILL, JACK, SAM and MIKE? our linebacking positions sound like a boy-band lineup, whatever happend to good ole ILBS and OLBS. If these freshmen that can grasp whatever this JACK and WILL shit mean, they posses more mental acumen than most Valedictorians and I submit to you they may be able to calculate protein folding in their brains.