Who the Fuck is Georgia
Georgia is based in Athens*, where they invented REM and philosophy and hedges. Their state features a giant peach that moons you while you’re on the highway. PS, our good ole Chilton County peaches are better, why don’t they replace that water tower with a big ass Matlock head.

Why We are Fucked
We Caint Defend the SCREEN! We Caint Defend the SCREEN! Damn these guys fucked us up and down with screen passes last year, it was like Groundhog Day. Mathew Stafford can light it up if he gets enough time, and running back Knowshon Moreno might be the best back in the US of A (but he unfortunately  got shitfacebooked last year).

Why They are Fucked
Georgia has been shit on by the injury pigeon this year, losing Trinton Sturdivant before the season began and dealing with several other banged up linemen, and they’ll have to face Bama’s offensive and defensive grunts are looking like a pack of hungry bears.

The Pressure is all on the Dawgs
The Bulldogs have had to deal with 2008 pressure and expectations even before Todd Boekman was scraped of the Superdome turf after last years championship game. If Alabama loses, well sheeeeyit, what’d you expect playing the No. 3 team in the country?? but if Alabama wins… we get to humiliate Ryan Seacrest’s Alma Mater!

And one Dawg shall lead them All

Fuck Ya’ll, we got Electricity
Pouring buckets of lemon juice in the wounds of the half-million hurricane Ike victims still without power, Georgia has decided this weekend would be their ‘blackout’ game. Luckily, those Texas residents won’t be offended, since their cow-skull adorned TV sets won’t be getting the electrons they need to function. As they pan the crowd, I’m just hoping to hear the announcer say “We’ve replaced these 80,000 Georgia t-shirts and jerseys with tight-fitting emo t-shirts, do you think anyone will notice the difference?” The blackout bus has left the building, fellas, and anyway, Colorado did it just last Thursday they had crazy motherfuckers at the gates spray painting grandma’s that showed up in pink. In Athens, it will just be used as a cover up for domestic violence.

Fuckin Smuggler
The Bulldogs often sneak an extra defensive back onto the field inside their mascot Uga’s massive rolls of neck flesh. Everyone is like “awww, cute little Uga MXXVII or whatever” then BAM a motherfucking 5’11″ 195 pound cornerback pops out of his neck-rolls and breaks up a pass. I’ll be Tivoing this game for some solid evidence of this horse shit.

Fucked Links
Bobby Petrino Gmail Account Hacked!!!
This Band apparently likes to Party
Pac-Man Jones Fined for Not Tucking Gun Into Pants

*Also, Tuscaloosa’s own Dexateens will be playing at Athen’s 40 watt club Friday night, will they dare yell RTR??