I Came to Drop F-Bombs: Kentucky Fuckin Feral Cat Preview
by Alabama Man Dance ~ October 1st, 2008. Filed under: General.
Back to Fucking Tuscaloosa!
We will be welcoming SEC play back to Tuscaloosa Alabama!! Mal Moore has expressed wishes to make this game a “Color-Out” where all the Fans dress in a beautiful rainbow of colors to show support for all the closeted homosexuals on the other team.
Are you Fucking Kidding Me?
Kentucky is a victim of the worse school graffiti scandal I’ve ever heard of. We all know that some dumbass fans occasionally write brilliant slogans or catchy phallic logos in some stupid places where people that don’t even give a shit have to spend money to clean it up. But this takes the entire cake… a doctor branding uteruses with a Kentucky UK!
Let Loose the Fucking Puns!
Last week’s coverage gave us gems like “With Dawgs fans in black, it felt like a funeral for Georgia” , “No funeral, just a rebirth of Alabama’s national title hopes” , “Alabama delivers last rites to Georgia, arrives on title scene” , “Crimson Tide flow early, bury Georgia” We can only squeeze our butt cheeks in fear of the headlines that editors will be brewing up this week in their cavernous large intestines.
You may have heard of MC Double Def DP, a talented Kentucky alum (rap starts at about 6:00 in)
Why We’re Fucked
The last SEC game in Tuscaloosa was a heartbreaking loss to LSU, who our visiting Wildcats upset last October, handing it to them in overtime. Though, if my hazy damaged memory serves me right, that game featured a fair amount of foot-shooting penalty action by the Swamp-Tigers, so we could rename this one Why We Will Fuck Ourselves. Even we don’t have enough reasons to be fucked now, we’ll have a few more when the Wildcat’s basketball team comes to town on Jan. 24.
Why They’re Fucked
And the brilliant quarterback that led them to their upset over LSU?? He’s picking up loose change for Mouth-Hanging-Open Manning up in New York City.
Bludgeon Party 2008!
According to their own coach, we “bludgeoned Clemson’s nose,” “bludgeoned the team that was No. 1 to start the year,” and our linemen have been “bludgeoning people.”
Mike Johnson hits linebackers with this shit
October 1st, 2008 at 7:15 pm
The FUCKING feral cats will become just another victim of The Process (TM), sayeth the Saban. Maybe Alabama will go for some faceFUCKING style points to impress those FUCKING college poll voters who, the last time I checked, weren’t drinking up the FUCKING Kool-Aid.
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
What the BUG FUCK was that FUCKING trainwreck? Do they make eye bleach? Retinal sanitizers? How the FUCK can you have a “DP” with a floppy, I ask? Shiiiiiit, get John McCain on the fucking case.
As for the game? There will be NO repeat of the Tulane debacle. This is a FUCKING route.
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:55 pm
One more FUCKING thing: if what we’ve done to everyone NOT named Tulane is a “bludgeoning”, then you can just chalk this one up as a good ole’ fashioned, I-dropped-the-Fucking-soap prison rape.
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:47 am
a massacre, massacre, a massacre…Cat for dinner and I’m throwing it up Roman-style cuz I’m eating more after that…
order the statue Prez, 13 is coming soon…