““It is the Florida nation. Alabama nation, and the Auburn family, and they are screwing around with our family.”
-Pat Dye, former Auburn coach and current senile saboteur, who believes all Aubs are related and loves Harper Lee’s To Kill a Blackbird

I hate that I’ve been too busy to post about the short, weird, shotgun wedding the Tigers have been working on the past few weeks. Pat Dye, the former head Aub (I can no longer call them Tubervillians, for shame) is convinced that the blame lies in Tuscaloosa for the coaching clusterfuck and public relations nightmare across the state, not Auburn’s own back-door dealings and meddling trustees and boosters (not that Alabama hasn’t suffered these issues, see Bob Bockrath, Logan Young, Bear II, etc etc).

Honestly, a struggling Auburn is not what the Bammer’s need. After watching the Big12 South this year, I could not help but want the SEC West to be at that level. Yeah, yeah, defense win championships, well, a bad ass conference division gets you to that Championship Game, gets all your games on some sweet-ass channels that you can pick up with your trailer antenna, and gives your defense that wonderful opportunity to make all sorts of sports cliche’s come to life.

Now onto the serious stuff, since Tubervillains is retired, we need a new stupid nickname for the Alabama Polytechnic Institute’s 2009 version:
Chiziks with Dicks
The 5.1 Million Retirement Tour
The Dye Family
Club Shula Part Deux