Utah: famous for its beautiful fucking beaches that were popular with some of our grandparents.
Who the Fuck is Utah
The University of Utah is located in Salt Lake City, which features scenic mountains, blue laws and religious underwear, sortof the exact opposite of Sugar Bowl hosting New Orleans. Salt Lake City is also home of the [...]

““It is the Florida nation. Alabama nation, and the Auburn family, and they are screwing around with our family.”
-Pat Dye, former Auburn coach and current senile saboteur, who believes all Aubs are related and loves Harper Lee’s To Kill a Blackbird

I hate that I’ve been too busy to post about the short, weird, shotgun wedding [...]

It’s the first time in a while that the Alabama football team has suffered a loss, and I’m not really sure my brothers and sisters really remember how to handle this sort of thing. It was an amazing run, to go 13 games in a row with a larger number on our side of the [...]

Will Bammer beat the Gators?
The most important divination yet is for the “Game of the Century” — Bammer vs Floriduh. Bammer returns to where the whole dream season started: Hotlanta. Will we be able to finish what we started there? Or, will the Gators chomp a mighty chunk of flesh from our hide? The Yi gave [...]

Who the Fuck is Florida
Florida is a school of 52,000 motherfuckers located in Gainsville, Florida. The university is named after the state where old people go to die and Canadians go to drive bad. House guru Bob Vila is a Gator, he was the undisputed renovation sensei until that metrosexual Ty from Extreme Home Makeover [...]

Burt Reynolds movies are extremely accurate football predictors, with 100% winning predictions over 78% of the time. So we will unearth the truth by comparing arbitrary observations of Burt’s 1976 swamp noir epic Gator and his 1978 Tuscaloosa-filmed coming-of-old-age stuntman character piece, Hooper, and apply this to the upcoming bigger than earth SEC championship game.

Character [...]